One of the criticisms I have heard about the bible and one I once thought, is that the people in it are too perfect to be real. It’s easy to see how this could be the case given the way Sunday school stories are presented. Look at how Rachael and Leah are presented in art at the painting above, and these two sisters had so real competition going. In reality, these folks are heavily flawed. Just as an example, here’s a chronicle of Jacob’s life. I don’t want to add any commentary but keep in mind that Jacob is later renamed Israel by God and the names of his sons are the names of the 12 tribes of Israel.
Jacob is the son of Isaac and the Grandson of Abraham.
He is the second born twin. His brother is Esau and Jacob is born grasping Esau’s heel.
Jacob means “Grasps the Heel,” or “Heel Puller,” or even “Leg Puller.” Then as now, the phrase was a euphemism for deception.
Esau, as the oldest, will inherit everything, his birthright, as strict primogeniture was observed. However, when Esau returns home one afternoon completely famished and asks for a bit of stew that Jacob has cooked, Jacob gives it to him, in exchange for Esau’s birthright. As Isaac was a wealthy man, this may be the most expensive bowl of lentil stew ever.
When Isaac is old and for the most part blind, he orders Esau to kill and prepare some wild game for him to eat after which he will bestow his blessing upon Esau, and he can only give one blessing. Jacob colludes with his mother to deceive Isaac and therefore steal Esau’s blessing.
Esau is understandably angry, so Jacob flees to his uncle Laban where he meets Rachael, who he thinks is pretty hot.
He strikes a deal with Laban. He will work for seven years for free, in exchange for Rachael.
After seven years, Laban holds a big feast, lots of wine at feasts, after which Jacob lies with Rachael. Or at least he would have had Laban not subbed in his not-so-hot older daughter, Leah. Jacob must have pretty hammered as he doesn’t even notice that the girl he’s worked seven years for isn’t the one in the bed with him.
The next day, Jacob is a tad irked and protests to Laban. Laban says for Jacob to wait out the seven day honeymoon and then Jacob can have Rachael as well in exchange for another seven years labor. Jacob agrees.
Leah, the sister with “dull eyes,” gives birth to Reuben, then Simeon, then Levi, then Judah. Each time she thinks that the child will help her curry Jacob’s favor. (At least 4 kids, she had to be getting some favor.)
Rachael is annoyed by her sister’s fertility and has her maid, Bilhah, lay with Jacob. She then has two sons, Dan and Naphtali.
Leah thinks that two can play at that game and has her maid, Zilpah, lay with Jacob and she has two more sons, Gad and Asher.
Leah then becomes fertile yet again and has Issachar, Zebulun, and a daughter, Dinah.
Finally, Rachael has two sons, Joseph and Benjamin.
Jacob then wishes to separate from Laban and makes a deal. Essentially Jacob will keep the animals of the flock that are spotted (less desirable) and Laban will keep the others. So Jacob intentionally breeds stonger spotted animals and weaker solid ones. The he bails with all the good animals and his favorite wife, Rachael, steals her father’s household gods.
He then reunites with his brother Esau in a tearful scene and agrees to return to Esau’s land but then deceives his brother and goes the other way.
After this, Jacob returns to Bethel, has a wrestling match with God and is renamed Israel. Then the narrative largely switches to his favorite son, the first through Rachael, Joseph, the guy with the amazing technicolor dream coat, who after a great many trials, saves his family and as such, the Hebrew race.
Jacob’s story is really pretty interesting and that’s just the narrative. Can you imagine what it must have been like to live that out on a day-by-day? In the middle of those two sisters, Oy-vey.
© Carl Mealie, 2011
Jacob is the son of Isaac and the Grandson of Abraham.
He is the second born twin. His brother is Esau and Jacob is born grasping Esau’s heel.
Jacob means “Grasps the Heel,” or “Heel Puller,” or even “Leg Puller.” Then as now, the phrase was a euphemism for deception.
Esau, as the oldest, will inherit everything, his birthright, as strict primogeniture was observed. However, when Esau returns home one afternoon completely famished and asks for a bit of stew that Jacob has cooked, Jacob gives it to him, in exchange for Esau’s birthright. As Isaac was a wealthy man, this may be the most expensive bowl of lentil stew ever.
When Isaac is old and for the most part blind, he orders Esau to kill and prepare some wild game for him to eat after which he will bestow his blessing upon Esau, and he can only give one blessing. Jacob colludes with his mother to deceive Isaac and therefore steal Esau’s blessing.
Esau is understandably angry, so Jacob flees to his uncle Laban where he meets Rachael, who he thinks is pretty hot.
He strikes a deal with Laban. He will work for seven years for free, in exchange for Rachael.
After seven years, Laban holds a big feast, lots of wine at feasts, after which Jacob lies with Rachael. Or at least he would have had Laban not subbed in his not-so-hot older daughter, Leah. Jacob must have pretty hammered as he doesn’t even notice that the girl he’s worked seven years for isn’t the one in the bed with him.
The next day, Jacob is a tad irked and protests to Laban. Laban says for Jacob to wait out the seven day honeymoon and then Jacob can have Rachael as well in exchange for another seven years labor. Jacob agrees.
Leah, the sister with “dull eyes,” gives birth to Reuben, then Simeon, then Levi, then Judah. Each time she thinks that the child will help her curry Jacob’s favor. (At least 4 kids, she had to be getting some favor.)
Rachael is annoyed by her sister’s fertility and has her maid, Bilhah, lay with Jacob. She then has two sons, Dan and Naphtali.
Leah thinks that two can play at that game and has her maid, Zilpah, lay with Jacob and she has two more sons, Gad and Asher.
Leah then becomes fertile yet again and has Issachar, Zebulun, and a daughter, Dinah.
Finally, Rachael has two sons, Joseph and Benjamin.
Jacob then wishes to separate from Laban and makes a deal. Essentially Jacob will keep the animals of the flock that are spotted (less desirable) and Laban will keep the others. So Jacob intentionally breeds stonger spotted animals and weaker solid ones. The he bails with all the good animals and his favorite wife, Rachael, steals her father’s household gods.
He then reunites with his brother Esau in a tearful scene and agrees to return to Esau’s land but then deceives his brother and goes the other way.
After this, Jacob returns to Bethel, has a wrestling match with God and is renamed Israel. Then the narrative largely switches to his favorite son, the first through Rachael, Joseph, the guy with the amazing technicolor dream coat, who after a great many trials, saves his family and as such, the Hebrew race.
Jacob’s story is really pretty interesting and that’s just the narrative. Can you imagine what it must have been like to live that out on a day-by-day? In the middle of those two sisters, Oy-vey.
© Carl Mealie, 2011
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