Just a Little Background

At the risk of putting some of you off, I’d like to talk about religion for a few. Please don’t stop reading, I’m not going to try and convert anybody or anything like that, in fact, I think evangelism as it’s currently thought of is a complete failure and a waste of time. I’m a Christian, and nothing makes my skin crawl like someone coming up to me and saying “I’d like to talk to you about Jesus.” Really, is there anybody out there who, in all seriousness, says “Great! I’ve been waiting for somebody to tell me what’s up with Jesus.”

To be honest, I have a real problem with a lot of what Christians do and judging by the response I get when I get into blogs on the subject, they have a problem with my opinions as well. Can I give a little background here? Indulge me for a moment if you will.
I was raised a Roman Catholic which led to a rather emphatic atheism by the time I was in my twenties. Later, when Cherie and I got married my opinion started to change a little but I had no idea what to do (that’s quite a woman to get a man beleivin’ in God without even tryin’). When we moved here, we thought we should find a church and I of course went straight back to the Roman church. Cherie, in her wisdom, was opposed to this and we eventually settled on the Episcopal Church. A few years later, I’m thinking of ditching all of it. What was the point, really? As far as I could tell, being a Christian meant roughly three things: (1), I’m essentially an evil sinner and if I acknowledge that fact and beg God for forgiveness then I will be forgiven, which (2), qualifies me for participation in the rapture (when God calls all the believers to him at the start of the end times) a concept that still scares the snot of me. Seriously, it does. I used to hear people talking about what a glorious day that would be and people I knew had bumper stickers that said something like “In the event of rapture this vehicle will be unoccupied.” I was never, ever able to identify with that. Oh and (3), congratulations, you’re a republican. Should you disagree with the republicans, not only are you unpatriotic, buy you’re clearly a heretic as well.
I was unable to handle this set of rules. Strangely, I have no problem with creation or any of the other stuff in the Bible. I’m a rational person, but I recognize that some things have to be taken on faith. I’m okay with that (faith and science are not incompatible for me), but the notion that the whole thing, meaning the Christian faith, was about forgiveness and separating the Godly from the ungodly didn’t jive for me. Would an all powerful, all loving, supremely compassionate, omnipotent, and omniscient God, be so trivial and arbitrary? Also, a lot of what I was being told in church and through other Christian outlets didn’t mesh with what I was reading in the Bible. There was either more to it, or it wasn’t worth being a Christian at all. Now, understand, this was not garden variety doubt. I’m still occasionally crushed by doubt. All Christians are whether they admit it or not, and it’s okay. That’s another thing that was a problem for me. The Christians I was supposed to look up to were always talking about ridding your heart of doubt. I never could, still can’t. Oh, and don’t even get me started on their version of prayer, how unappealing was that? Verbal self flagellation followed by a plea for forgiveness and hopefully an arbitrary miracle here and there; wow, sign me up. (Sorry for the tangent.) Anyway, this was a serious evaluation about whether or not being a Christian was something worthwhile.
Then one day (cliché transition intentional), my boss asked if I wanted to go to Promise Keepers. Hoping that this would clarify things for me, I went. PK is exactly what you’d expect and really a lot more of the same I’d been hearing but in a festive, concert like atmosphere. But, I saw a video called “Dust” and it absolutely shook me, hard. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down in front of my boss, a crap load of co-workers, and a whole group of others that I was at least acquainted with. I’m not going to go into this any further because I don’t want this to be preachy, but starting with the video and some lengthy study afterwards that goes on to this day, I found a God and a Christianity that was worth it, that I’m excited to be a part of, and that truly speaks to my heart.

Now why do I bring all this up? Mostly to provide some context for other things I want to say. If I wanted to talk about same-sex marriage, or war, or veganism, or whatever, my theology plays a part in what I think since everything is spiritual.